A Podar Institute of Education Survey dispels Conventional Notions of Parenting

 by Shrutee K/DNS

Mumbai: Fathers are increasingly getting involved and active when it comes to everyday parenting of their children, says a survey by Podar Institute of Education. The survey, conducted among 4800 fathers in Mumbai, dispels the many conventional notions of parenting which otherwise put mothers at the heart of parenting. A common complain of mothers is that fathers are not involved in everyday parenting and that they have to bear the burden of parenting.

According to the survey, 70% fathers are now making a conscious effort to reduce their travel for work in order to spend more time with their children. 65% fathers spend two or more hours every day with their children. They are now aware of which school the child attends, or which class and even attend their open house and events.

There, however, is still some scope of improvement by dads in giving time, learning to discipline their children and helping children with school work, according to the survey. The survey found that only 33% spend time doing household chores or reading to their children. 88% fathers need the wife around when they take children out and only 12% are confident to go out alone with their children. Many fathers are not so involved in helping around the house or in household chores and most are not happy with the amount of time they are able to spend with their kids.

Dr Swati Popat Vats, President of Podar Education Network, and Early Childhood Association, feels that these results are a good sign that children today are benefitting by equal involvement by both parents and this will be good for the overall emotional development and emotional intelligence in children. There will be less tendency towards depression, suicidal tendencies as children who have a strong bond with not one by two parents will grow up to be more resilient. Both relationships remain psychologically important even when there are disparities in the two parents’ levels of participation in child care.

Fathers are just as essential to healthy child development as mothers. Psychology Today explains: "Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children."

Erik Erikson, a pioneer in the world of child psychology, asserts that a father's love and a mother's love are qualitatively different. Fathers "love more dangerously" because their love is more "expectant, more instrumental" than a mother's love. A father brings unique contributions to the job of parenting a child that no one else can replicate. Following are some of the most compelling ways that a father’s involvement makes a positive difference in a child's life.

By 18 months babies can tell the difference between mothers and fathers interaction with them. Both mothers and fathers parent differently. This diversity, in itself, provides children with a broader, richer experience of contrasting relational interactions. Whether they realize it or not, children are learning, by sheer experience, that men and women are different and have different ways of dealing with life. This understanding is critical for their development.

To highlight this fact to fathers and mothers and to celebrate the importance of both parents in parenting, Podar Jumbo Kids in association with Early Childhood Association and Born Smart Parenting website organised a unique Just for Dads panel discussion on the topic, “Involvement of Dads in Everyday Parenting” on November 18 at Podar Jumbo Kids, Khar West. The panelists were actor Karanvir Bohra, author Ketan Bhagat, diamond merchant Rushabh Turakhia, digital media entrepreneur Saurabh Kanwar, anesthetologist Dr. Harshal Wagh, ad film maker Vaibhav Pawar and Public Relations Consultant Ankeet Dave.

Podar Institute of Education supported by Early Childhood Association conducted a survey with over 3900 fathers to understand their parenting style and time spent with their children. The results of this study are used in the unique book ‘How to be a S.U.P.E.R Dad’, which was unveiled by the panelists during the panel discussion.